I love being a military spouse. I really do. I love knowing that I am supporting the country in my own way, I love living in different places and getting to see the world, I love meeting new people who become closer than family, and I love the community and pride that comes with it.
That being said, the moving every few years is difficult, the pay isn’t as amazing as everyone thinks it is, being away from family can be hard, and leaving those soulmates I made along the way can be super sucky. But for me, one of the hardest parts of being a military spouse is how much of our world revolves around him and his job. It can be very easy to completely lose yourself when so much of your world is based on only one person. Now I know a lot of couples will move for one spouse’s job, or one job has crazy hours and they don’t see each other that often. But in the military everything about our lives is dictated by his job – where we live, how long we live there, who we will meet, what his hours will be (which changes on a daily basis), etc. It can be completely overwhelming and it can feel as though the military machine is swallowing you.
It can be hard to find new jobs, or continue a career, or attend school for higher education with the constant moving around. And it isn’t as though this comes as any sort of surprise. It just can take its toll on a person after a while. And there have been days where I have looked in the mirror and wondered ‘what have I accomplished?’ It can be hard, especially without children, to overcome these feelings. There are many legitimate reasons I haven’t been able to work consistently, or why it took me a while to find an online program in my field that would be worthwhile, and there are many things I wish I had done differently. But hindsight is 20/20 and there is no use dwelling on how I should have done things when I can focus on what I am doing now. And that can be hard too – as stated in a previous post, I am trying to go back to work, even entry level work, and it is very frustrating and disheartening to constantly be told no.
Now don’t get me wrong, as much as this feels like a pity party post, it isn’t. Well, sort of. But the point is to reach out to others and say, ‘look, I’ve been there too. That day when you start wondering what it is you have done with your life until now.’ It can be especially difficult as a military spouse. But there are things I point out as accomplishments. One of which is supporting my husband through several difficult times. I have raised two dogs to be good girls, well, for the most part. I have run marathons; I am currently in training for another one. I am in school and almost done and will receive my Master’s degree. I am back on track for so many things. But I still have those days. And I know I am not alone. But remember, life is what you make it, and you can always do something new and different or change directions and perfect your corner of the sky.