So my husband’s boat’s holiday party is coming up this week and I am very much looking forward to it. Mostly because it is super casual this year. Now don’t get me wrong, I love dressing up and getting pretty as much as the next girl, but man it is a lot of work. Then worrying about the hair the whole night, is my face getting shiny, is my dress riding up in the back or down in the front, can anyone tell I’m wearing the full body Spanx, etc, etc. But this year it is a casual venue with an ugly sweater option. Which means…. leggings. Oh those wonderful amazing leg coverings that let me feel comfortable and held in all at once. It should be a very fun time.
Assuming of course, too, that I hang out with the fun people and am able to avoid drama. Because, like anywhere, there is drama on our boat between some of the wives. Mostly I steer clear. I like my little corner. I am willing to listen if someone needs to vent and I am more than happy to help mediate if people want a third party there. I will not, however, take sides because that causes no ends of problems. My husband has been in for a while. He has worked his way pretty far up the food chain at this point. And it will look incredibly tacky if his wife is seen taking sides amongst younger wife drama. That is not my role or my place. And yet I see so many wives – especially the unseasoned ones – doing just that. Getting over involved. Taking sides without hearing both sides. Jumping to an uninformed conclusion. It looks bad. And to the outside world it may not seem that way, but in the military world, that is not why you are there. It is almost like you are an advisor or a coach – there to keep the peace, give advice, listen, and that’s about it. I have seen Commanding Officer wives try and become best buds with the Chief wives and turn them against the Chief of the Boat’s wife. This is not okay. At all. There are weird and archaic traditions and customs within the military and while some of them need to be done away with, others need to be respected. A COB has usually been in for almost twenty years and, in most cases, his wife has been there along side him and has earned that position. Not rank, position. She has been through it all and lived to tell the tale. She is the one therefore that the Chief wives are supposed to turn which makes sense as she has been through what they are going through. And for a CO’s wife to come in and take them over is incredibly disrespectful and ridiculous.
But at the holiday party, we will all be together. All there for the same reason and all there to have fun. And hopefully those with issues are able to put them aside for one night. You don’t have to like someone in order to be friendly to them in public. Part of being the spouse of a higher ranking officer is being polite and friendly and putting it on in public. But isn’t that true of most groups? You have to be friendly, you have to be civil, you have to be polite. You can’t totally ignore each other because others will notice. So say hello, ask about the new cat, wave goodbye when you leave, and make sure everyone sees that even if they know there are problems, you are able to come together at these boat functions and all be on one team. After all, the party is for everyone, and can’t we all use a little less drama in our corner of the sky?