How To Go Insane

Do you find yourself too sane? Do you think you have way too much free time? Do you wish your life was crazier? Then I highly suggest joining your FRG! Because, trust me, it will make your life insane. Some FRGs are awesome and everyone gets along and agrees all the time and they meet up all the time and never have to worry about arguments or disagreements.

Or so I have heard. I have yet to experience an FRG of peace and love. There is always an issue. Sometimes it is because only enlisted wives get involved and they feel snubbed by the officer wives. Sometimes it is the other way around and the officer wives don’t know how to get the enlisted wives involved. Sometimes nobody comes to the meetings and then people complain on Facebook about not being involved in the decisions the FRG makes. A lack of involvement can make it very difficult for an FRG.

I have seen Presidents who have no idea what they are doing and are completely unable to make a decision, and I have seen Presidents who think holding that position gives them some weird power that puts them on a level above everyone else. Sometimes the Ombudsman and the FRG become weirdly intertwined and people see them as the same thing, and sometimes this even includes the Ombudsman who suddenly feels she has to run the FRG. No. Your job is the go between for families and the boat. That is all. You are not the leader. You are not the Triad. You have responsibilities, but not power.

Here is my advice to everyone involved in the FRG. Settle down. I have heard of FRGs being forcefully disbanded because of all the drama that was occurring between members. I have had FRG presidents come to me feeling incredibly overwhelmed for one reason or another. Settle down. Take a deep breath. And relax. It is the FRG. Not Congress. Whether or not anyone buys a fundraiser blanket should have absolutely no impact on your daily life. It can certainly be a bummer if you plan an outing and only a handful of people show up to it, but again, not the end of the world. It does not reflect on you as a person. Settle down.

I highly respect people who take on these positions and then take them seriously. That is important and needs to happen. It should not, however, become a burden or your whole world. There is enough drama out there; there is no need to cultivate it within you. There is no power in these positions. This does not make you better than, or above any of the other wives. It makes you a good person for stepping up and being involved in something that exists solely to make people’s lives more fun, but that is all. Lording it over others or making them feel small because of it helps no one. And on the opposite end of the spectrum, if you are not willing to step up and help out, you should not constantly complain. If your FRG does not have a Sunshine Committee, just ranting about it does nothing – take it on, join, get your friends to join, and get involved. But just complaining about it does nobody any good.

The FRG can be fun and helpful, but it should not be all there is in your corner of the sky.


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